It’s come to my attention Chelsea FC are still using toilet paper. This could explain their poor form of late.

In preparation to the eagerly anticipated match between Chelsea and Leicester next week, the world press is reporting that unofficial Chelsea FC toilet paper is now on sale in the Central Asian republic of Uzbekistan.

Uzbek website Press News published the story alongside an image of the gaudy packaging.

The English Premier League is popular among Uzbeks, and rivalry between fans is usually very strong. A number of commentators on Facebook think the Chelsea toilet paper was produced by a Manchester United fan. Or perhaps Alex Fergusson’s new line of business now he’s not managing anymore?

Well, he’s got to keep himself busy I guess…

But someone should tell him he’s about 100 years too late to get into the toilet paper business.

It’s had its day…

In fact, sport’s stars definitely not be still using toilet paper, seen as though they have to be at their peak of physical fitness each and every week…

If these footballers are still using toilet paper instead of the shattaf bidet sprayer, then they could be risking their health and livelihood more than many people.

Well, they are on as much as £250,000 per week in some cases.

And as we all know, most people do NOT wash their hands properly after using the toilet.

Then they go around shaking hands with other players, passing on that bacteria from the toilet paper.

Resulting in lethargy and possible illness.

Instead, they should be using the shattaf bidet sprayer after every toilet visit. Giving a barrier against the bacteria so common with toilet paper users.

Many street markets in Central Asia sell English Premier League merchandise such as shirts, mugs and wallets – almost all is counterfeit. But Chelsea branded toilet paper must be a new fad in the counterfeit business. I wonder what Roman Abramovich thinks to his new toilet paper.

It’s about time Chelsea upgraded to the shattaf bidet sprayer!!

If you and your family are still struggling on with nasty old toilet paper, why don’t you get on over to the shattaf bidet sprayer online store and grab yourself a bargain?

The Shattaf Bidet Sprayer Online Store CLICK HERE

Always Dedicated to Your Awesome Life,

Greg Noland

Shattaf Bidet Sprayers

%d bloggers like this: